Sleep, Sleep, Ah......Sleep

I am an insomniac.  I live for decent, deep comforting sleep that I seldom get. But I am working on it! If you have problems with insomnia (and I have had since I was only 6 years old when fears kept me awake) make sure that you are doing the following (they really are important):

• Don't sleep with your television on.  Okay, that's a given, right? But if your insomnia started early in life and was terror-based, it's hard to believe that you can actually go to sleep without the television. I used the television for everything from company to blocking out other people's annoying sounds. TURN IT OFF! Breathe deeply, and see that now that you are grown, it is much easier to go to sleep without the light and sound of a tv.
• Don't take long naps in the early evening.  It's tempting, especially if you are really sleepy and can lapse into a delicious sleep at 6 or 7 in the evening.  That sleep feels so good - but it's going to keep you up for the rest of the night when you actually go to be at 11 or 12. Find something to do and skip the nap.
• Don't drink coffe, tea, sodas.  When I was in my twenties, I drank cup after cup of coffee all day and made fresh pots at 6, 7, 8 and 9 at night, then complained that I couldn't sleep.  The coffee wasn't the only cause of my insomnia, but it certainly didn't help.
• Do take a warm bath with something that smells soothing and great added to the water about 30 minutes or more before bed.  Don't watch Criminal Minds, CSI (any of them), Forensic Files or any of the other doom and gloom programs you may ordinarily enjoy. You may think that they do not disturb or scare you, but they are unsettling to the mind which doesn't forget them that easily. Best: watch something funny, something that can make you laugh out loud. Try Nick at Night or TV Land for some of the lightest comedies going.

Sleep is too important to us to tolerate poor quality sleep or insomnia. Do something, even if the last resort is a sleep clinic or doctor-prescribed sleeping pills. Your quality of life will vastly improve!

The Trials of Love

Loving is difficult, especially when we have loved ones who are going through trying times, who are unhappy, even bitter.  We can try to be supportive, but when that doesn't work, and they retreat into themselves and their misery, we can try to understand and do our best not to blame them for their coldness or their anger as they lash out against everyone who cares for them.  We must remind ourselves that love means harboring no resentment toward them, no anger; sometimes, we simply have to wait.

Do You Want To Cure Procrastination Problems?

The greatest thief of time is procrastination; it steals away the time you need for important things and in return gives you time that you don't really enjoy because you know you should be doing something else.

I am a procrastinator, and like most procrastinators, I had excuses, such as, "I work better under pressure."  Of course, I really did believe this for a while, but it simply isn't true.  Most of us work better when we have time to take time and do a job correctly - and that may mean time to redo.

I've left the excuses behind, but I still have to fight an almost daily battle against procrastination in many areas of my life (not work, thank goodness!).

Here are some coping strategies:

• If you procrastinate about cleaning, try to reduce clutter and clean as you go; never put dishes in the sink, they go straight to the dishwasher, clothes go straight into the hamper, or even into the washer, magazines go into the trash right after you've finished reading (or clipping, if you do that).

• If you procrastinate about bill-paying, do it online.  I used to dread those monthly sessions, opening bills packed full of advertising that filled a trash can, writing checks, addressing envelopes, and making sure I had stamps.  Save time and pay bills online by either going to each site individually and paying (my preferred method for credit card payments) and paying utilities online through your checking account.  The time saved is considerable, plus if you go paper-free, you save a mountain of trees in paper!

• Do you procrastinate at work?  Get a work buddy if possible and keep tabs on each other about finishing work.  If your work is solitary, look at what is interfering - do you spend too much time talking and visiting, flirting with the cute guy in Accounting, planning lunch, or doing personal business (or games) online? Either go in early and do work before others get there or stay to yourself. Plan tomorrow's lunch the afternoon before after you've done your tasks for the day. If you do personal business online, remember that with most companies or institutions, nothing that you do on your office computer is actually personal; it can all be traced.  If you have games on your computer, have them taken off!

Just changing one of these can get you started on a more disciplined path that can result in actually having more time to have fun!

Here Come the Holidays!

Do you use your sterling silver and silverplated flatware and decorative pieces for the holidays?  If they are tarnished and you are rushed for time,  try polishing your silver this easy way.

Line your kitchen sink with aluminum foil and add a scoop of Arm and Hammer clothes detergent.  Let the silver stay in this mixture for about 5 minutes.  When you take it out, wipe it, then rinse it and dry: you have newly polished silver!

Thinking Like a Psychoanalyst

Have family and/or friends come to you for help when they had a problem, when they felt depressed because of circumstances, when they had relationship troubles, or during other trying times? Remember that it is very easy to tell a person what we think he/she should do; it is another thing entirely to listen, really listen to the person's problems.  But that is what he wants:  a listener.  Sometimes he may ask for advice, but think to yourself, does this person really want advice? Can I give good advice?  Ask the last question of yourself carefully, over and over, before you spontaneously say what you think off the top of your head.  Very few of us give good advice for the person who needs it.  We may give advice that would work for ourselves in a similar situation, but we so seldom really think about the other person, his needs, goals, and priorities. Psychoanalysts probably help patients the most by listening to them, then letting them know that they are understood. And you can do that and be more helpful than you may know!

Rejoice

Tonight a full moon shines over the city where I live. It is a reminder of everything that is beautiful in this world.  Go outside, look at the moon, and rejoice that you are alive in this moment.

Remember...

To be nice to yourself; we all do things we wish that we hadn't and have regrets, but each regret that you have is replacing what could otherwise be a moment of happiness.  If you can say you're sorry, do so; if what you did can't be addressed by talking to someone, then let it go, and every time you think about the misdeed, say to yourself, "Let it go."  Remember something that you did well instead or concentrate on doing something good in the present.